I have been struggling with acceptance from others for so long, for so many years. I wanted to be liked, loved and supported. I wanted to be popular, have many friends, fit in and be understood. I yearned for people to notice me, to see the real me, to accept me for who I thought myself to be. But when you don't know yourself, what are you really looking for?
What exactly is acceptance? According to the online Merriam - Webster Dictionary, acceptance is defined as, "the act of accepting something or someone : the fact of being accepted: approval. (https://www.merriam-webster.com). So this whole time, I've been looking for approval? Yearning for it, seeking it. Constantly. From friends, from family, from relationships. I wanted approval. Unfortunately, as I reflect on my ownself, I never sought to approve of me first. I wanted to be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect wife and the perfect employee. I just wanted to be perfect in everything that I did, so I could garner attention and approval. What a facade to keep up with. What a role to play. But I finally got tired, because as much as I was seeking approval, I wasn't getting it. At least not in the way that I wanted. People didn't seem to know the REAL me. They knew the "me" that was seeking approval.
Well, guess what? That isn't me anymore. When I began to seek God, I began to see that His APPROVAL, was all the acceptance I needed. He accepted me perfect or not, intelligent or not, wife or not. He saw my imperfections and allowed me to lay my burdens down at his feet. Regardless of how heavy they were. No load was too much for my God. He told me in so many ways, that He was waiting for me to let it all go. The facade, the behavior, the roles that He never intended for me to play. He told me that He accepted me as the woman He created me to be. He rescued me from myself and showed me His role me, according to His plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and according to His kingdom.
Now I no longer seek the acceptance from others. Not just because of my newness in my relationship with the King of all kings. It's more to it. God has shown me that we live in a world, of seeking acceptance in the most deterimental ways. The ways that tear us down, instead of building us up. The ways that break our hearts instead of feeding our souls. We are looking for acceptance, but TRUE acceptance, rest in the bosom of the LORD. The best place you could ever be. I pray that you realize that you no longer have to search for acceptance. You have already been accepted by the ONE, that TRULY matters.
Peace and Blessing
- I'Asiah
